on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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