For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
