i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
