Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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