I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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