Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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