is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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