i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
