My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize