duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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