3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
