In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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