You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize