the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Congratulations! We have a period
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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