I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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