But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
