Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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