It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do vagina's smell?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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