I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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