So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
