well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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