Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
