If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
