You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
