Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
