similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
