which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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