I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
