yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
