I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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