Non-Jews are for practice
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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