You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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