Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize