I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
