I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
