I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
soo... how was my night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
