They should really pass out barf bags in church
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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