were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
