your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
