Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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