I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Damn victory sex feels great
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
