i just wanna soil my oats bro
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
