Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize