how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
