No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
