I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Someone shit on the floor
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
