Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
