honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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