your thong is hanging out like whoa
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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