what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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