Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
two words...techno handjob
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
