I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
