so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize