She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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