You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
