It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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