I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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