he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
