Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
