yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
