theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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