ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
