Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
