Yo dont text me then not text me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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