Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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