Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
