Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
