I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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