READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
