Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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