i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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