i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
